Aside

May the grass be greener on our side

It’s in the plush of the night and a dream stirs me awake and indeed I wake up saying NO GOD. I dream of an invitation to leave my marriage, my husband and its scary. I am thankful I finally say NO GOD. For me it may have been just a dream but for many it may be a real invitation answered to or tempting to answer to and quickly so. For what have we been taught, if its not working, leave and quickly so.

I pray but my body is breaking out in sweat and I cannot sleep coz THIS IS IMPORTANT. SO I pray for marriages, I pray for what I believe makes the heartbeat of God. I pray for THIS because its what I believe.

I especially dedicate to those married and have to live apart for long periods of time due to one reason or another, maybe work, study or other unavoidable reason.

I dedicate this prayer to those who are together but the walls of pain, deceit, doubt and mistrust have made the distance between the two feel like mars and venus, heaven and earth.

May the grass be greener on our side

May our hearts be filled with courage

For you are the God of more

May we in this corrupt generation be unquenchable in our belief of your word

May the fire of our vows burn ever so bright

May we fight for what we saw back then and we what hope to see

May our youth be spent for one another

May this be for posterity, for a testimony and a legacy of your grace

May we see the best in each other

May we build each other up and not tear down

May the fire of your word and promise burn every lingering doubt and dark desire

May we know the adventure that is ours within our marriages

May we ever look to thee for grace

You never said it was going to be easy but you promised to be with us

May we look to you when  we are down and out, when we are old and grey, when we are confused

Remove every deceit from our hearts, give us a heart like yours

May we stand for the long haul

May we fight for our marriages oh God

May we never give up the fight on our knees

May you build for us this house

May we build with the rocks of your faithfulness

May the singles trust that it shall be well with them as they keep faithfulness

May every doubt be quenched by your abundance and presence

For you are the God of more

For you are our ordainer, our source

May our hearts never faint in the journey

May the challenges we face ever make us stronger

May the distance between us only serve to strengthen our passion for each other and our resolve

For you are making our grass greener!

And indeed you are making us flourish in your courts, ever praising thee

Tell your heart to beat again
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Speak to yourself – TELL YOUR HEART TO BEAT AGAIN

Something clicked in me that made me think deeply. In the journey of our walk with God, fatigue and delayed longing face us from time to time. “Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life.” Proverbs 13:12, NLT

We are active in the church; give faithfully and participate as best as we know how. Then we wait. And wait some more. We feel mad at God because we are expecting a quick reward. Why do I give and you do not see? Well, first giving is a principle. Give and it will be given back to you, remember that verse? In full measure, pressed together, running over. Secondly God loves a cheerful giver and we are to give not out of compulsion but with joy. Thirdly God is not a mocker, what we reap, we sow. Thus I encourage you to know these truths by heart.

Tell your heart to beat again

Tell your heart to beat again

However, in our human shortcomings and the sinful world we live in, we SEE others around us doing well and yes even doing better. We are tempted to complain as we compare ourselves with those we feel we should be in the same league or even that we should be ahead of. We feel like telling those closest to us how tired we are of waiting. After all, isn’t it just a click away or simply a smiley face? We itch to tell them how we are bored and feel neglected. Its fine to share our griefs that we may find comfort, and find joy in the friendship but does this promote their faith in God? Does it speak life, as life and death is in the power of the tongue? After you complain, so what? Will I have made anything better? Again if I shut up and die inside I will just become bitter and weary of the walk. I will shed what I have already gained by faith this far? So I must speak. Speak to myself, speak to my soul and not be silent or I will sink to the grave of despair.

Even as my fingers are itching to type away my disillusionment to my friend, thanks to the whatsapp that’s so quick to share the feeling, the Lord whispers these words to me.

Those the Lord chooses will inherit the earth.

Again, thanks to Mr. Google, I search up the verse and I get two of them.

Psalm 25:12-15

12 Who, then, are those who fear the Lord? He will instruct them in the ways they should choose.[b]
13 They will spend their days in prosperity, and their descendants will inherit the land.
14 The Lord confides in those who fear him; he makes his covenant known to them.
15 My eyes are ever on the Lord, for only he will release my feet from the snare.

Psalm 65:1-2, 4-5

1 Praise awaits[b] you, our God, in Zion; to you our vows will be fulfilled.
2 You who answer prayer, to you all people will come.

4 Blessed are those you choose and bring near to live in your courts!
We are filled with the good things of your house, of your holy temple.

5 You answer us with awesome and righteous deeds, God our Savior,
the hope of all the ends of the earth and of the farthest seas,

His is a blessing we cannot force. He chooses whom to show mercy and grace on. Am not saying be lazy and boom around and work on the premise that somehow God will choose you. What I am saying is a situation where you feel sidelined by the king. Where you feel forgotten. As you are being faithful in the kingdom, your time which is His best timing will come. And His enduring promise will be fulfilled. Remember His love remains, His promise sure.

The journey of our lives is different, each must walk with His God, in a relationship and in different seasons. It is important to encourage each other, but when all is said and done, we were called alone and must answer alone.

I dedicate to you the explanation Danny Gokey gives behind his song : TELL YOUR HEART TO BEAT AGAIN

“You should know people” from my younger self

As you read, I want to warn you that this is a post I should have posted long long ago; about 2 years ago. I don’t know whether you will like me after this confession but read on. I am grateful I did not delete it 🙂 I can reminisce what it meant to be younger…. 🙂 and later share how much I have grown.

I just wanted to be stunning… Now I am only stunning on the inside – which is what matters first but oh the outside also matters. (You see my ladder was leaning on the wrong wall… visiting a quack I didn’t know was a quack) I forgive that hairdresser but it has given me a deep resolve to change what I can and accept what I cannot change.

What I can change – Soon I’ll be able to hire a personal stylist and will pay them smart – what a woe to fall in the wrong hands of unprofessional hair care-givers…. God save me from this disaster – Professionalism or expertise should be rewarded…

What I cannot change – all my investment in hair has been thwarted… So I will next invest more carefully –

1. By shaving … Like  I had before

Great Hair Nov 12

or 2. by hiring a professional hairdresser… That takes me back to my first option; I can change something – to work my hands and brains to hire a professional… And I mean a real professional; not a professional quack – one who can match the shape of my head to the style… BTW I really don’t want to rant but I am … would you have guessed it was my first day at work and I intended to outshine them all???….

 

Now I know something of what Matt 6:19-20 meant  What a welcome to a new place… MOMBASA known for its pleasure. Not so for me that time. But I so love Mombasa… So I said “I might as well preach a sermon out of this or at least have a note or better still a blog post on more of this…” This is because I believe in a personal, practical God who cares about how we feel and look. Remember He was so down-earth as to provide wine for the village wedding at Cana of Galilee… or to sort out the lady whose daily life was marred by the issue of blood… He cares about your personal need – when I was younger and in school I got to experience Him too as the God who cares enough when I didn’t have a pencil or a pen… That is not a petty God but a personal God. I store my treasures of beauty, dignity and brand to Him…

Irregardless of my investment and the timeline my hair has had so far, “My times are in His hand…” Psalm 31:15

Great Hair Turban-type

 

 

Great Hair Free

And it grew on and on. This was the stage my hair was at before I was quacked

Romans 8:32 “He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things?.

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My new look after the experience. Loved it. Coz I hadd beauty inside. Beauty outside. Inside out!

Cheers.

Dorcas

TRUE JOY

We all want to be happy in life and everybody always try to have comforts and pleasure to fully enjoy life. But consequently we find out that in our daily lives we might be lacking something..The joy that we desire. Someone quoted that life is not a bed of roses. There are the normal ups and downs of life.

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MEAT not MILK

Just like the water I left to boil on the stove, am boiling. I want to cook one of his fav meals. Shall I? I am deeply angered by hubby. Uh, you are just 40 days married!! YES. AND. YES. I feel He hurt me this morning and He has refused to apologize he said he was not angry, I confessed I was and I was (in campus, communication & culture taught in a conflict two people can be right at the same time). Its that way and we argued, badly and He says I had an emotional outburst. I did. Did I accept? YES. Then why do I feel hurt? Coz he has not apologized and I feel He should have promptly done that.
Ok, what do I do?
I write a poem; here:
OUR HEARTS, YOUR LIFE
Before You is nothing hidden.
You know our hearts,weak as they are.
You search us and know our thoughts.
You know all, phantom or quandary
Your light is light to the world

You love us unconditionally
You prod us on to grace and power
Gives us right standing before Your righteous throne
Merciful, friend of sinners
Life is in Your name, salvation in Your name

Call it identity, self-concept
You are our God, our father
We the sheep of Your pasture
Our faces You give radiance
Don’t walk that path, Your gentle voice leads
xxx End xxx

I go about my activities, (am job searching and feeling long-waiting, new word but its in my dictionary; this is a story for another time)
and I call him twice. We talk well, sweet though not the usual munchkin smooth.
But I still hurt and I can feel the pain, I can almost touch it.
I relax and settle for a drink out to myself at one of our Diaspora restaurants, its like the house will remind me of the pain. So I mellow and forget. But I cannot stay out forever.
When I come back, I start on chores and tell myself its ok but with each surface I scrub, I slow peel away the mask till I get to where it hurts. I crash and cry, I cry a lot as I mumble. God what shall I do? Don’t you see it hurts and cause honey to call right away and apologize?

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Image courtesy of cafepress.com

I pray and cry on till I soothe 🙂 and slowly just the way the mask peeled away and it hurt, I feel a reassurance. Simply from our study book this month; HEBREWS
That milk is for immature children but meat is for the mature who have been trained by constant use. I am not saying use or experience of constant hurt but use of the WORD.
Hebrews 5:13 “For every one that useth milk is unskilful in the word of righteousness: for he is a babe. 14 But strong meat belongeth to them that are of full age, even those who by reason of use have their senses exercised to discern both good and evil.”
The same God who says everything I like, like I have loved you with an everlasting love and You are mine (yes I am His even if he does not apologize…) also says that we must put away rage along with all malice.
Colossians 3:8 “But now ye also put off all these; anger, wrath, malice, blasphemy, filthy communication out of your mouth.”
(Note that I write this on my knees, on my cry/pray position.)
Psalm 34:4 “I sought the LORD, and he heard me, and delivered me from all my fears.”

And he is coming and I have not cooked but I know its ok, I do not want to cook bitterly so let me write first and cook sweet. AMEN.
As I finish writing, ready to burn my physical evidence of angers – my scribbled papers – and post this similance though a more sober version, a few desires ooze from my spirit:
1. Lord change me, so that when we argue, I react in a spirit-led way I will not regret feeling guilty and ashamed of my ways coz am Yours. Work in me right now, when we argue and always, give me forbearance and self-control. Make me a reformed Choleric, Meru etc..
2. I refuse to play victim, I will not wait for the apology, I am secure and free so I forgive first, free from the bile, the pain.
3. I promised to love and Cherish SK so I am off to do that.

Ciao,
Yours and yours.

Yours – Christs’
yours – SK
His – Jesus
he/his – SK
All bible quotes from KJV

In His might to honor Him

We want to feel leadership

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Submitting to leadership and the leaders that be brings about blessings uncountable. The leader may not be ‘perfect’ but when the fear of God informs how we perceive them, (where we see them as chosen by God and though weak or strong, good or bad – we see them as worthy of respect and honor), then there is a grace of favor that God bestows upon the followers and the leader. After all, there is no one who wants to be called a leader and have no one following. They may not be right in your eyes but there the ‘WHY’ God has chosen them for the said season…

God is able to change them, remove them from leadership, replace them, reprimand them or use them or do what He alone can do as God. AS.GOD.

Deborah of old sang in Judges 5:2-3

When Leaders Lead Then Deborah and Barak the son of Abinoain sang on that day, saying: “When leaders lead in Israel, when the people willingly offer themselves, bless the LORD! Hear, O kings! Give ear, O princes! I, even I, will sing to the  Lord. I will sing; I will make music to the Lord, the God of Israel.

The Israelites had done evil as had become their usual and were set on edge – this time it was the hand of Jabin, king of Canaan. And did they cry…

God raised a prophetess, Deborah who spoke counsel to the people and instructed Barak to take an army and head to battle.

He said was afraid… and he was.. he would go only if Deborah went with him. She did not ridicule him but strengthened him. Only the glory would not be be his. Fair enough.

If it was in today’s #NyeriTimes, maybe she would have poured hot water on him for not being ‘the man’. But as we said earlier God will do what he alone can do. AS.GOD.

So he routed the army under Sisera and after the strike the shepherd, scatter the sheep scenario, victory came when Jael, a woman who was a family friend to the enemy realized it was her to save her nation.

God did it through her and yes through him even in His way and leadership was felt.

wpid-images.jpg*photo from http://www.layman.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/more.png

 

The Bored beyond belief Experience

I boarded a Nairobi bound bus to alight at Kibwezi shortly before 7am. And now to think we’re just slightly past Voi. I didn’t know this still happens, but sadly its a reality for many people.
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The many business, family, study and progress hours lost on the road. For me its a initiative #PATAgari seriously, but for many others its simply one of the many times they will go through this, over and over AGAIN! How I long for the SGR for our people or something affordable to make travel to Nairobi faster. YES to Efficiency and Progress.
What and as I fullstop here, the bus stops AGAIN!!!!
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In His might to honor Him

Of Lavender and Purple: Lydia -The Woman Who Was Diligent in Business

For the first time ever I disclose that I am a wife-to-be. 🙂 whoop whoop. Excited now as I think, imagine and believe all the beautiful things a bride goes through and has.. did I say has… yes the all.white.gown, flowers…gifts..love. I can.Wait. Its a few days coming.

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So even as I am fascinated by Gown Technology, something else is exciting. Lav, say lavender. A shade of royalty, read purple. Just for a little background, while a freshman, my friend and I picked colours, we had two to choose from – she chose Pink, I chose Purple. Just like that. You see initially I am sorrowful I only knew black and white…. Even to date, still trying to break free from dark colours in my daily routine. But when something new happens and its beautiful, its a whole new world. A Lav world. 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂

The lav craze then began and still continues. When I chose the colour, I was eager to see how the world would interpret it. While organizing the wedding, I have been towns apart

Just came across this in my readings from the Lockman Foundation Amplified Bible and thought I could share:  LYDIA

Scripture References—Acts 16:12-15, 40; Philippians 1:1-10

“Name Meaning—Lydia, who was an Asiatic, derived her name from the country on the borders of which her native city, Thyatira, was situated. It was not an original Greek name, but probably Phoenician, and a common name meaning “bending.” Readers of Horace will be familiar with Lydia as a popular name for women. There are those writers who think that it means “The Lydian,” seeing Thyatira was a city of Lydia, and that her personal name is unknown.

Family Connections—Scripture does not supply us with any information regarding Lydia’s background apart from the fact that she lived in Thyatira which was one of the Macedonian colonies. From names discovered on monuments it is evident that the city was the melting pot of many nations, and that the chief object of worship was Apollo, who was worshiped as the sun-god under the name of Tyrinnus. There was also a strong Jewish element in the city maintaining faith in Jehovah. Lydia, one of the prominent women of Thyatira, is presented to us in various ways, namely—

As a Business Woman

Thyatira was conspicuous for its many guilds which were united by common pursuits and religious rites. One of these guilds was that of dyers. The water of the area was so well-adapted for dyeing, that no other place could produce the scarlet cloth out of which fezzes were so brilliantly and so permanently dyed. This unique purple dye brought the city universal renown. Lydia was a well-known seller of this product (Acts 16:14), and typifies a successful business woman in a prosperous city. Ability, enthusiasm, singleness of purpose and mental acumen were hers, and she prospered greatly in an honorable and extensive calling of “selling purple.” Lydia was an example of the comparatively independent position some women attained to in Asia Minor. That she became prosperous in business is seen in that she owned a spacious home, and had servants to care for her.

As a Devout Woman

While it is not certain whether Lydia was of Jewish descent it is evident that she was a Jewish proselyte. “She worshipped God,” we are told. Often business people are so engrossed in their affairs as to have no time for religion. But Lydia, in spite of all her secular obligations, found time to worship according to the Jewish faith. Daily she made her way to the riverside where prayer was wont to be made. She knew that in order to successfuly meet the stiff competition of the Philippian traders, she needed grace as well as knowledge. At that riverside prayer meeting perhaps she met other Jewish dyers, and with them eagerly waited upon the ministry of Paul and his companions.

As a Seeking Woman

Although sincerely religious, Lydia was not a Christian. She did, however, have a hunger for a deeper spiritual experience. The mind is closed against the full truth either from ignorance or prejudice and cannot discern it, or from pride and perversity and will not admit it. Ignorance was responsible for Lydia’s closed mind, but as she attended to the truth of Christ which Paul spoke of in conversational style in that small seated Jewish gathering, the light dawned, and her heart opened to receive that Christ as her Saviour. As Chrysostom puts it, “To open is the part of God, and to pay attention that of the woman.” Her faith was born through hearing the Word of God (Psalm 119:18, 130; Luke 24:45).

As a Christian Woman

As an evidence of her surrender to the claims of Christ she was baptized, “the waters of Europe then first being sacramentally used to seal her faith and God’s forgiveness in Christ.” Her conversion was declared by a public confession, and such was her enthusiasm that she immediately told her household what had happened, and all within it likewise believed and were baptized as disciples of the same Saviour. Thus Lydia had the honor of being Paul’s first European convert—the forerunner of a mighty host to honor the Lord. Becoming a Christian did not make her less of a successful business woman. Now she had Christ as her Senior Partner and with Him we can imagine that trade remained good and that much of her profit was used to assist His servants in the work of the Gospel.

As a Hospitable Woman

Lydia’s transformation of life was evidenced by her eagerness to give missionaries the hospitality of her fine home. Truth in her heart was manifested in kindness to each other—as they ought to be! “Be ye kind one to another.” First came Lydia’s faith, then the winning of her servants to Christ, then her love in gracious hospitality, and finally her reception of Paul and Silas into her home after their discharge from prison, bruised and battered though they were. She was not ashamed of the Lord’s prisoners (see 1 Timothy 5:10; Hebrews 13:2; 1 Peter 4:9). While benefiting from Lydia’s generous hospitality Paul warned all present of the terrible trials before them, and then parting from godly Lydia, praised God for all she had meant to him and his companions.

As a Consecrated Woman

Lydia always had “open house” for the saints of God and her home became a center of Christian fellowship in Philippi with perhaps the first Christian church being formed therein. When Paul came to write his letter to the Philippians, we can rest assured that Lydia was included in all the saints at Philippi to whom he sent his salutations (Philippians 1:1-7); and was also in his mind as one of those women who labored with him in the Gospel (Philippians 4:3). William Ramsay thinks that Lydia may have been either Euodia or Syntyche (Philippians 4:2).

When Paul penned the triple exhortation—“Not slothful in business, fervent in spirit, serving the Lord” (Romans 12:11), we do not know whether he had his hospitable convert, Lydia, in mind. She certainly exemplified these three virtues, and grace can be ours to emulate them.

“Not slothful in business”

If our business is honorable and we are diligent in it, and if we are the Lord’s, we have the assurance that if we honor Him in all transactions, He will honor us. He places no premium upon idleness or indolence. Did not Paul say that if we are not willing to work we have no right to eat?

“Fervent in spirit”

Moffatt’s translation is suggestive here. He expresses it, “Maintain the spiritual glow,” which, by God’s grace Lydia was able to do as she cared for her business interests and pursuits which were no bar to her spirituality. Too often, we allow the secular to rob us of our glow. Our affection becomes too set on things below.

“Serving the Lord”

Lydia not only sold her dyes—she served her Saviour. She stayed in business that she might have the money to help God’s servants in their ministry. How her generous care of Paul and Silas, and of many others, must have cheered their hearts. Lydia was, first of all, a consecrated Christian, then a conscientious business woman who continued to sell her purple dyes for the glory of God. When we reach heaven, we shall find this “seller of purple” wearing more superior garments, robes not stained even with the notable dye of Thyatira, but “washed and made white in the blood of the Lamb.””

So Lydia, I admire you very much. May I and other brides to be and the married ones not forgetting the singles preen all we can from you daily for you embody many qualities that could and can make us more noble BEFORE and DURING marriage. Cheers..

 

In His might to honor Him

It’s Not Just You

So true…

The Daily Dahlia

Confession: probably my biggest pet peeve on the planet is when people start a question with “Am I the only one who…?” No. You’re not. You’re not the only one who writes that way, reads that way, likes that food, likes that band, thinks Benedict Cumberbatch sounds like a Game of Thrones character or looks like someone squeezed Spongebob and stuck googly eyes on him…you’re just not. But. There’s a different kind of “Is it just me?” feeling, and that’s the stress of when you’re drowning in something and nobody’s talking about it and you feel like everyone’s got it together but you, and so you don’t wanna say a thing, and it all snowballs until you basically wanna curl up and die. I know that feeling. It’s why I wrote this post after splitting with my first agent. So in case you are wondering any of these things, I…

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