Psalms 127:4 Children born to a young man are like sharp arrows in a warrior’s hands.
Before I became a mom, I didn’t know so many things about lactation, sleep, diet/appetite. I would admire those whose babies ate well and marvel at those whose babies had poor appetites.
It never had serious impact on me until I was thrown in the deep end. Little miss BRAVE had an appetite for breastfeeding. She also had difficulty latching on the breast and I had little knowledge of what to do. It got extreme such that I gave up and sought professional help from a lactation expert. It totally worth it. @cikuciera thanks thanks a zillion times! I went on my knees and asked God to intervene and placed my hands on BRAVE, blessed her and nullified all negative words and allowed all the painful emotions that had secretly torn my heart and my will to heal. It was a process! We are still breastfeeding.
Came time for weaning and I was so eager. I was super excited. I had enquired from other moms, mr. Google and even a nutritionist. Wait a minute, we had already been struggling with weight. And I had introduced formula despite my initial resistance. I had accepted I wasn’t gonna be the “Freisian”. Of course I started with purees and porridge. Sometimes BRAVE would eat well, sometimes not. That tiny ‘not-good, not-enough mom’, why-me-God button clicked, sometimes softly sometimes hard enough to drive me to tears and or my knees.
The beginning of the end started when I decided to take BRAVE to the nutritionist AGAIN, at the recommendation of a nurse at one of the local hospitals. Why? BRAVE was low weight for age. It was sad. I was not alarmed. You know those kind of I saw it coming situations… Yes. She had been picking at her food, frowning at the sight of a plate, cup or spoon, pouting her mouth, shutting it close and if worse came to worst and some food components entered her mouth, spitting it out! Not one day but many days. Would you be surprised if it was you? Its like going to an exam you’ve not read for and taking it. You will fail most probably. I was not distressed like the lactation time but my husband was alarmed. After all breastfeeding involved my body, NO? What concerned me was to be honest BRAVE was not eating as needed for her growing body. Studies have shown that the first two years are the most important for brain development. The nurse mentioned as much. So we’ve seen the nutritionist. I was handed a great manual to follow and lots of recipes. I am still working it out….
I have to mention I was not amused at the notes written to authorize the insurance claim… “failure to thrive”.. I will not delve into details now about this but I was certainly hurt and offended. Miss BRAVE is the loudest, most bubbly child to be around. She waves bye and calls mama hundreds of times in a day. She is most eager when her aunt comes home.
There are days we will eat and days it won’t work. ONE DAY AT A TIME. We are finding courage and choosing hope.
#choosehope #yourarenotalone #youarenotleftalone #choosehopesharehope #brave #hopeisalive #speaklife