Day 8 – Of lefting Whatsapp groups and wedding preparations

Leave WhatsApp group

How are you today? I am on day 8 of the 30-day blogging challenge: #ichoosehopeKE #landofhope. I flopped at posting yesterday and hope to make up my slowing down…

I am now almost 2 proud years into marriage and counting. Yeei! Anniversary loading 🙂
When we were preparing our wedding, we sought the “African” way of going the journey with friends. We created a Whatsapp group and asked people to contribute. Oh, we actually created three…

  • One for our bigger group of friends
  • One for my friends at the coast
  • One for the bridal party

Sadly, we ended up dismantling all of them before the wedding 😦

Let me tell you why
The bigger group was becoming a queer platform. Some people used it share their ideas and jokes, then there were the many that I now looking back do not blame – they never said a word. Yet they saw all the calls to raise money. SO WE KILLED IT

Whatsapp groups friends

The group formed was meant to be for my friends both at work and church (I wasn’t that social or active in the church) so they were handpicked. They mostly kept their cool and the admin had a major task of imploring and asking. We met in the streets of the office and they smiled at me and commented that they knew the wedding was coming. Maybe they were waiting for me to request for their support (read money) face to face as one friend candidly told me, it was their culture not to involve themselves unless personally requested. Either way with the apathy, admin and I decided to KILL IT.

Then there was the bridal party group. KILLING this one made my heart ache. These were my very close friends and were really supportive. Anyway we agreed with my fiancée to kill it and such a killing was the result of my submission in the spirit of endearing oneness! 🙂 🙂

Oops. We now began engaging people one on one; face to face. Long story short, we had a simple, colorful wedding and crossed over with no debts.
I know that many groups of this kind are a resounding success, most don’t want to leave even after the event is over, me included. Lots of surprises and beautiful things happen and people really get the value of not ‘lefting’.

But what bothers me is that section of members who are eternally silent, whose persona I often take, guiltily 😦
Is it that they don’t want to give?
Is it that they don’t value friendship these people? Eeh?
Is it that they cannot see they have been added?
I am still searching for answers.

What am sure of is that sometimes these forums can create so much social pressure despite meaning and actually doing good. Whether there is shame in lefting and guilt or peace, I don’t know, or in remaining silent.

Ever had such a situation in your life? For me this is how it has been playing in my mind:
Case 1: Where I feel guilty that I didn’t give
Case 2:  Where I feel bad that I didn’t give enough

These requests will come… yes another request will come
Thought 1: Should I set apart a kitty and dispense as need arises?
Thought 2: Should I include it in my monthly budget?

Honestly, this is my dilemma.

Most importantly how is my heart disposition in all these things concerning giving and ‘lefting’ groups? Maybe I should have a part 2 of this matter…

Dorcas Koome-Muthama


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